BEING FULLY PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR!

I first thought of doing a video blog about this (at YouTube, do a search for Clarion13 to see my previous ones), but while meditating this morning it seemed that it would be better to write it here.

I made a realization the other day about "being grateful for where I am now." I have been working on becoming grateful for where I've been the past year, both spiritually and physically. Somehow spiritual acceptance is easier than having gratitude for the physical things. I had a hard time being grateful for our last rental house, for instance (too many reasons to go into).

The things that became clear to me over the past few days are:

1. Being grateful for my current body means not only taking care of it, but taking care of what I wear on it. I have gotten rid of a huge amount of clothes lately, things that I have hung onto just because they fit, new things that I just don't like, etc. So I've pared it down to the things I LOVE to wear right now (making room for a few new things), which allows me to properly SEE the things I do love (they are no longer clogged together with things that give me less pleasure).
I did some IRONING the other day, too, which I normally don't bother with, but it gave me a sense of taking better care of me. I don't want to look, or feel "rumpled," even when I'm just hanging out at home. I had some trousers that I haven't worn in ages, just because they were too wrinkly! I won't go as far as to iron my undies though, some people are just too obsessive about their ironing!

AND I am going to allow myself to buy some new clothes, even though I am losing weight (4 pounds so far!). I was at a mall last weekend, ignoring the clothes shops, telling myself that I'll wait to buy when I'm thinner. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!?! Well, when I got home I reconsidered and decided that giving myself a new outfit at this weight will reinforce the love I am creating for the whole of me, cellulite and all.

2. Creating the home I love means starting where I am now. Well, as we are renting (3rd house in 2 years), this won't be the house that I choose to make into my dream home. We have known that it will be temporary since we moved in. Suffice it to say, it FEELS temporary and I have ignored the decorating (bare walls), organizing, and even the cleaning a bit. While shopping this weekend I found some new bath accessories that I though "hey, these would look great in our bathroom." I then went through a tug-of-war, trying to convince my oh-so-rational side that it would do me some good to have bath rugs that matched our current bathroom! Crazy, huh? Well, the new energy won out, we got a couple of things that are just perfect in there and make it feel like "MY bathroom."

I realized that the problem has been in thinking that if I made myself at home here that I will somehow get STUCK here. But now I am feeling that the opposite is true!!! If I can be at home, wherever I am, in efffect BEING GRATEFUL for the walls in which I live, then that energy will return to me in abundance.

We had a lot of issues in our last home, though it was bigger, had a lovely garden, etc. I wasn't able to allow myself to enjoy it, and I manifested a lot of headaches (physical and emotional!).

SO, I'm on my way to being more me, to living and loving the moment, not worrying about how the new body, or our next home are going to manifest. I just KNOW that they will.