What I'm taking...What I'm leaving behind...
I am working on having a Moving Sale this weekend, selling off TONS of belongings. We are moving in 6 weeks and we wanted to get our things shipped to the USA soon, so we have had to sort through things quickly. The sale seemed the obvious thing to do, though I am pretty dang tired now!!
The more I am visualizing leaving the UK the more I think about what I am leaving behind. And as for the friends I'm leaving behind, well there aren't very many! I've made NONE in the past 1 1/2 years and I can hardly believe it. It really struck me today as I was at the pre-school and NO ONE spoke to me, even though I look friendly, act open and make the intention to speak to others. I came home and was in tears. I am moving, put up signs there to advertise my Moving Sale, and not one person there asked me how it is all going, or anything. People are just too busy to care. And it makes me feel so sad. Today I feel like the whole world doesn't care. Sigh.
I am lonely, wish I was doing my house sale with a friend, or family member to help me out. It is when I am "doing things" that I notice that it would be a lot more fun to have a friend to help me. I normally drift along, doing stuff with my husband, so I guess I have forgotten about real friends. And the funny thing is that I just don't see how I have been unfriendly or closed to people. Some people have said that British villagers can be insular, so perhaps that is part of it. Still, I see lots of people who look like they could use friends (or at least a smile). Have I had up some sort of subconsious barrier?
I just wish I'd made more of an effort. I know that I was depressed for a long time, and that affected my outlook, but I still wish I had made friends. I wish I had some friends to be leaving behind. People who would miss me. It feels bad to leave England, and have few people care that I am leaving.
Okay, well that's enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I really am treasuring the transition time and it feels full of some sort of pure, zingy energy. I have so much to look forward to, and change is invigorating. I am really happy to be getting rid of most of it actually. I am excited that I'll be able to get new junk when I get to the USA. TARGET, here I come!
4 comments:
Clarissa
Its amazing for you to share your process of completion. You get to create ever aspect of your completion. It can be anyway you want it to be. It could be melancholy or a wild, juicy, adventurous, possibility. Your options are endless and you get to create it...all of it the way that works for you. Thanks for sharing the journey. My video camera is having issues so I have been blogging these days.
I can identify with you being from Brazil and living in the USA for the past 8 years. I have however, re-discovered myself and have made new and wonderful friends in my buddhist group, which is a lay organization, the sgi. To be part of and share a spiritual practice such as chanting, being able to visit people and talk on a regular basis, has helped me tremendously. of course you are already on your path with the co-creating your reality challenge, but I would encourage something like this. thanks for sharing your spirit and your wonderful way of thinking with us, I really appreciate it.
I am new to this Google Blog thing and found you through linking to The Alarm. I, too, live in Washington state and can't believe there is someone else here who knows this band. Nice to meet you.
初次拜訪，踩踩您的格子，跟您拜個碼頭囉~~.................................................................
Post a Comment